The sexual tension between you and your posters as you’re getting dressed
I can only imagine how hot and bothered my world map gets.
#enough to cause global warming
MOMMA WILL GIVE ADVICE.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: MENSTRUATING DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SICK. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE DIRTY.
First of all, do not go swimming in the ocean to look for Momma.
Momma will be right here.
Momma suggests that at first sign of blood, take tylenol. If you are super in tune with your body, take it when you estimate it will start soon!
Momma knows EXACTLY what to do for cramps. Eating cranberries or drinking their juice is a wonderful way to get rid of cramps.
Another way to help with the pain is to rest on your bed like in the picture, butt in the air and head on the ground.
Also, if you do not like pads OR tampons, there are more solutions!
They are very similar to one another. They are basically soft, silicone cups that go up into your lady cave that collect the blood.The softcup is a bit more expensive.
Also, Momma says that if you want to have sex and not have gushing everywhere, you can use a softcup!
The mooncup is a lot like the softcup, but it is reusable. Momma will remind you that you MUST disinfect it in boiling water.
You can even use natural sea sponge like a tampon!
Momma says it’s okay.
There are also cotton reusable pads!
Momma is also thinking of you men that have periods, too!
There is a special kind of boxers that you can buy with a special pocket for sanitary products! It also comes with a bulge.
The most important thing to do, menstruating or not, is to love and respect yourself. Do not feel ashamed, and get through it as well as you can!
Momma loves you!
Thank you momma.
I imagine Momma having a really typical haggard old smoker’s voiceMOMMA’S ON MY OWN DASH WHAT THE HECKLE
WAIT HOLD THE PHONE THERE ARE OPTIONS OUTSIDE OF PADS AND TAMPONS???
Soul’s sense of masculinity decreased by 5 points!
I JUST SPIT OUT MY SODA BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING BONUS
romanticize the fuck out of life if thats how you cope who cares fuck those text posts that are like “your life will never be a wes anderson movie” well of course it won’t but i’m buying that cute yellow tea kettle anyways motherfucker dont harsh my vibes
why did i do this
who am i